A Higher Place
by abysmallyeverafter
Summary: Touko's findings cause her to resent the ignorance of her race. She rejects her association with PoKémon training. Lost, she turns towards the enemy to soothe her biting guilt. Her only solace lies in his calming eyes, understanding of her inner turmoil.
1. An Unlikely Beginning

An Unlikely Beginning

**Author's Note: Well, I'm new here, and I'd really like my readers to know some facts. First, I don't read the Pokémon Comic Things, nor watch the cartoons. Therefore, the characters in this little tale are based solely on the game, and I've taken a great deal of artistic license with their personalities, (specifically that of the main character), appearance, and age. With this in consideration, I'd encourage you all to be accepting of our new and unusual hero: Touko. **

Touko's eyes shown with unidentifiable emotion. This was the day- the start of her "journey". She gingerly pushed herself into a sitting position on her bed, caring little for the frizzed mass of brown hair lurching from yesterday's ponytail.

She would have to choose.

A fire type? … Her eyes, crystal blue, lost focus as she retreated into her thoughts. She could almost see the brilliant Emboar snorting impressive flames by her side. People were cheering. Stage lights focused on her massive companion. An older man, sporting a flashy suit, approached – the current Champion. The battle was about to begin. She felt no anxiousness. She felt nothing. It was as if this emotionally taxing event were irrelevant to her, as if—

Zzzt.

Touko blinked herself from the daydream. Her television set had just turned on. Momentarily puzzled, she noticed the remote hiding snuggly under her calf. She reached to turn off the interrupting noise, but paused when her eyes recognized the creature on the screen.

A Dewott, complete with a slippery slate-blue coat, stood by the speaker.

"Today we will be examining one of the favorite Pokémon in Unova, Dewott. As you can see, with it's cute appearance and razor sharp reflexes, this one is sure to find favor with the serious trainer, or the civilian simply looking for an adorable companion." She stopped listening, and stared intently at the curious creature, clearly enjoying his time in the spotlight. She imagined, after a hard day's work, settling down with the cuddly thing and wrapping her arms around it as she slept – happy as a young girl with a new friend. Though she felt a sense of longing for this companionship, her pleasant imaginings didn't alter her zoned-out expression. She didn't want it that much.

The last choice would be a Snivy. Touko crinkled her nose at the phonetics of the name. Sniveee- eeee. It sounded unappealing. It wouldn't be a match for the Emboar. She recalled a picture of the little thing in Juniper's lab once. It was tolerably attractive, though nothing like the beloved Oshawott – the favorite of most young female trainers. She felt no emotion towards it either way.

- "…learns many powerful water moves very early on. And because, as all trainers know, surfing with a Pokémon without serious training experience is incredibly reckless, this Pokémon is a great choice for the beginners who shouldn't get their feet wet quite yet. Moves like Aqua Ring…"

"Really?"

Touko's eyes snapped to her bedroom door. Cheren, in all his magnificent splendor, turned his narrowed, oceanic eyes towards her.

"Those glasses make you look gay."

Cheren's face expressed no offence. Insulting was common greeting between the two.

"I would be gay, if the last girl on earth even moderately resembled the swamp-thing you look like right now." His voice always had a certain crisp, finite edge to it.

Touko, much like Cheren, responded as if he had simply said, "Your hair is a bit messy." She shrugged.

"I just don't have the time to dedicate to each individual hair follicle that you have. How much hair gel do you use every morning to get that little…." She paused, gesturing to Cheren's signature hair style, "horn thing to stand up?"

Cheren smiled slightly. "Enough." He looked at her critically, and then glanced to the television behind him. "I see you couldn't be bothered to get ready for our big day. But I do understand the appeal of PokéMonday reruns from seven years ago. The way they can speak of completely obvious facts for hours on end like it's a new discovery truly is impressive."

Touko stretched, curling her toes, exposed by the haphazard blanket. She swiftly moved from her bed to her closet, choosing some clothes. Cheren watched in scrutinizing silence.

"Where's Bianca?"

"She is discussing matters with her father."

"Ah."

"Touko, please, for my pride's sake, tell me I won't be starting my dignified journey to greatness with a whore."

Touko looked over her shoulder, small smile in place. "Don't have a hissy fit over my outfit. Your pants are too tight to put on a 5 year old." With this she waved her provocatively short shorts in front of him and searched for a top.

"But at least they're pants. You'll be catching rapists if you head out in that." He pushed her aside as he looked through her clothing. He handed her a pair of jeans. "Change. We are not making a good impression right now."

"I doubt it'll improve much if they catch me stripping in front of you. "

Cheren's glance was not of amusement. "I'll be outside."

He shut the door behind him, leaving Touko with no more time for witty remarks. She changed, throwing her oversized nightshirt at her ruffled bed, slipping on a white tank top and her "Cheren-approved" jeans. Her hand went briefly to her tangled hair. She contemplated fixing it, but decided against it. She didn't have the time. And she didn't care enough.

She walked out of her bedroom, completely customized to the critical overlook Cheren gave her. Apparently he approved, for he moved downstairs without another word. It was her cue to follow.

"Hey, Touko," her smiling mother greeted her. "It's already eleven – but better late than never, right?"

Touko's face remained stoic. Her mother was a successful trainer. She had only given it up when she became pregnant. Her fantastic stories were something of a fantasy for Touko as a girl, but she felt little emotion towards them now. She mused, for a moment, that her mother was eager to relive her trainer days through her only child. She had pushed Touko to begin her journey eight years ago, at the customary age of 10. Touko didn't want to – she claimed she was scared to leave home. Her mom could deal with that, of course. She figured it only meant her baby girl would only be more prepared when she started out. No beginner mistakes.

The years had passed. Touko's evident disinterest in Pokémon battling grew substantially. She could find no reason to really care about the outcome of the fight. It's not like they were _her _Pokémon. Of course, Touko's mom intended to remedy this too. She tried to force dozens of Pokémon on her daughter since her father's passing – almost begging her to choose one to love. Touko's consistent, unwavering response to this was that she wanted to find her own friend. Her companion would make itself clear later, she imagined.

And, quite frankly, receiving a Pokémon from Professor Juniper was certainly not her idea of meeting the right one. The thought had been painfully churning around for a while now, though she was reluctant to express it.

"Sorry I'm late!"

Bianca, her ditzy childhood friend, stumbled through the front door, face flushed. Though she appreciated the girl's genuineness in everything she said, Touko thought her naivety was a bit irritating. Her personality aligned more closely with Cheren, who also regarded Bianca with a cool glance.

"We expected you would have conflicts with your father." Cheren made no eye contact when he said this, taking more interest in Touko's mother's choice of drapes.

"Yes, you know Daddy," Touko flinched at the childish term of endearment. It bothered her. "He takes a long time to warm up to new ideas." As she said this, Bianca fixed her tailored green hat over her butter-blonde hair. She was wearing something a ridiculous mother might choose for her infant daughter, Touko observed wryly. It reflected what she was inside- a sheltered, ridiculous doll.

"We should go to Juniper's." Cheren was trying to conceal the ounce of impatient excitement coming on in his voice. His primary goal was to maintain absolute composure. Touko noticed it, but decided to keep her witty quips to herself.

"Not necessary!" The trio turned around to face Touko's mother, revealing a shiny yellow case. "I have the three PoKémon right here." She smiled proudly at the three. "I know you all didn't start out your journey at the … well, earlier age most do. But I think that's a good thing. You will make much more wise decisions than the silly children running around out there."

"Thank you." Cheren answered straight-faced.

"AHH! I'm so super excited!"

Touko watched silently as her two friends approached the case. Cheren was too focused to notice her lagging behind, but Bianca turned around instantly.

"Touko! You should choose first!"

Cheren smirked. "Yes. I'll choose the one that has an advantage over yours."

Touko's eyes smiled at Cheren. "No, no, guys – you first. I don't care which one I get." She knew the comment would bite at her mother, who was hoping, praying even, that her daughter would have an excited, strong preference to accompany a newfound resolve to be a great Pokémon…anything. Trainer, breeder, scientist. She didn't care.

But Touko held back. This whole scene did not fit her fantasy encounter with her perfect companion. Her eyes lost focus on her eager friends, as she quickly brought up some of her points on a mental checklist she had been editing for years. Firstly, no one would be there. It would just be her and the creature. Secondly, she wouldn't catch it. It would never know confinement in a PoKéball. It wouldn't be a young PoKémon, she mused, but an older one –one she felt could protect and understand her, not vice versa. She had no preference on its species, aside for a slight desire for it to be something she imagined reflected her on the inside, as a kind of way to express, nonverbally, to everyone what kind of person she was…. No, this wasn't right at all.

"Wellll,"Bianca was now hungrily eyeing the case. "If it's all the same to you guys, I would really, really love to have Oshawott." There were the starts of tears in her eyes from the happiness- "I just think it's the cutest little thing I've ever seen!"

"Fine with me." Cheren concentrated on the Tepig's PoKéball.

"Yup." Touko chimed.

"YES! Oh my God this is the best day of my LIFE!" Bianca grabbed for the Pokéball quicker than a Seviper might a young Zangoose. She threw the ball at the floor, watched it bounce, and, as predicted, turned to Cheren, confused.

"You have to press the button."

"Oh!"- She eagerly tried again and a small green creature emerged from the beam. Bianca blinked at its leafy tail and irritated autumn eyes. It held a certain haughtiness already.

"Umm…" Bianca looked up at Touko "I picked the wrong ball."

Touko didn't grant that statement a response.

"Here, sweetie," Touko's smiling mother handed her the Pokéball under the water symbol.

"Thank you!" Recovered from her consecutive embarrassments, Bianca resumed her passionate joy once more. She held the ball curiously, examining the red sheen with her bulging blue eyes.

"Touko?" Cheren asked, indicating her to choose next.

"No Cheren, I insist."

Pausing to briefly file her reluctance for later reference, Cheren turned to the case and took the remaining Pokéball, that of the Tepig. He revealed a rare smile as he rolled his thumb against the surface. This really was his dream.

"Well, Touko," her mother began, trying to bring out some ounce of excitement in the young woman. "I suppose this little Snivy is yours then." She walked around the table and carefully picked up the little grass snake PoKémon and rocked it in her arms. "I'm sure you two will get along wonderfully."

Touko smiled, exteriorly, when she seemed to pick up on the Snivy's aggravation at being coddled by her mother. She bit back her roaring conscience to sedate her mother, and replied in monotone with, "We will."


	2. The Mission

The Mission

"We should have a battle," Cheren suggested, looking at Touko with the eyes, she gently imagined, of the outgoing young boy he had once been.

She thought back then, of the last time she had seen that gleam of raw ambition. They were probably 13… Bianca was 12. Cheren had spotted a new PoKémon on Route 1 on his way home from school. She had seen it then, while he had passionately described, in intricate detail, the stray Blitzle that had wandered out of its typical range. She remembered his face, for she didn't know people like them, serious people like them, could exhibit that type of joy. His eyes… She pondered what hers must look like. They must be dull in comparison to those of her friends…

"…maybe she didn't get enough sleep. I've heard of that! Of people falling asleep standing, with their eyes open too!"

Cheren looked borderline concerned when Touko snapped back. The glisten in his eyes was gone.

"No thanks, Cheren. I think I'm too tired to battle today."

"You're not coming with us." Ah, so he had picked up on her conflict.

"Well, I don't know. Just maybe not today."

Cheren was notably disappointed. Bianca was dumbfounded. "Wait! Why did you get a PoKémon today if you didn't want to head out with us? We're your best friends! We need to do this together!"

Touko was untouched by the illogical sentiment pouring from her friend's eyes. She turned to her mother, who had put down the Snivy. Her face was saddened, though Touko imagined her heart was more destroyed than she could express.

"Bianca…" Touko tried to pick her words carefully, "I don't want to be a PoKémon trainer."

She didn't notice Snivy's understanding, though baffled stare towards his new "master".

"I don't want to be a PoKémon breeder, nor a "Champion". There's no reason for me to accompany you on your journey to become something I don't want to be."

Bianca looked about ready to cry. Cheren remained unreadable. Touko threw a glance at the small creature standing off behind her. "I should probably return Snivy to Professor Juniper."

"NO!" Touko's eyes met with the ones of her now troubled mother, "For your own sake, this PoKémon will stay with you! You _need _this Touko! You need something…"Her tears were becoming steadily more frequent. They rolled down her face like little raindrops, pausing at her cheekbones before racing down towards her chin. "Something… you don't know you need yet."

Touko's placid gaze searched her mother calmly. She was unmoved, but wished to pacify her mother's distress. "Then I will keep Snivy. If that is what you want." She turned to her friends. "You both, please, go on to Juniper's. Get your Pokédexes. Be great." Touko pointed a legitimate smile at Cheren. "I know you will be."

Cheren nodded, nothing more to say. He robotically turned on his heel and walked out the front door. Bianca lingered, trying futilely to assure her friend that she was glad she wasn't going to pursue a dream that was never hers. After a hug which Touko did not return, she ran out the door after Cheren.

Her mother had sat down at the table. She hadn't moved her gaze from the dainty placement mat. "I understand your reluctance, Touko. If there's anyone out there that can understand…" She still hadn't looked up, "It's me."

Touko, still standing, did not respond, but turned her gaze to the kitchen.

"Your father, he…"

"Mom…" Touko knew the subject was painful.

"He was wrong to do that. Just because he had those hang-ups doesn't mean you will too. And just because your first PoKé-"

"I know."

Her mother's eyes, watery with a thick film of tears, pleaded with Touko, "Then why? Why have you no dreams? You're not interested in PoKémon, and PoKémon is all I know. I can't help you out of this depression if you want nothing to do with my cure! You're 18 years old! You could have been a great trainer by now! But… you haven't taken an interest to anything… And I don't know what to do."

"I want to travel."

To Touko, saying this to her mother felt like more of a confession than anything else.

"Then travel! Take your PoKémon and discover what life is-"

"No." Touko never lost her composure. "I don't want to take PoKémon with me."

"Then… what will…."

"-protect me?"

"Yes…" Touko's mother was thoroughly confused. No one would dare travel through the wilderness of the region without something to protect them.

"I am under the impression that I do not need protection to travel, despite common opinion. And furthermore… I will not quickly trust another PoKémon to do me anything but harm for some time. I'm much more comfortable relying on myself."

"What if wild PoKémon attack-"

"-They won't." Touko took a few steps towards her mother. "They attack when trainers sic their own PoKémon on them. It's a defense, primarily. I have a notion that they won't want anything to do with me, so long as I clearly pose no threat. Thus, no PoKémon."

Touko's mother seemed to have regained some control and pondered the thoughts of her daughter.

"I will go around the world, Mom, through caves and oceans, with nothing. I'll write about it, and I'll figure out what PoKémon are to people, or maybe just what PoKémon are. I'll prove the traditions we hold wrong – our beliefs incorrect – our methods unfitting." Touko's blue eyes softened. "I'll make people more aware of what PoKémon feel, how they think, so that they will know how to act around them. Maybe reevaluate their behavior towards them. I don't know. But I'll be the one to put the information out there."

The older woman was moved. Her daughter really did have a dream. Maybe it was just different than hers… maybe more important. She rose, proudly, and placed a hand on her Touko's shoulder. "I won't be comfortable knowing you could be hurt. But I do think that your… mission… is commendable. I just wish you would bring something to take care of you."

She struck a chord. Before the woman could rephrase, Touko's predicted snap came in a steely voice.

"You, of all people, should know the last thing I need to take care of me is a PoKémon. I take care of myself."

"I know. But, just, the fights…"

"I'll be fine."

Knowing when to change the subject, her mother's eyes ventured over to the forgotten Snivy, now staring through the window, looking at the sky. She imagined it was trying to feign disinterest in their dramatics. "What about the Sn-"

"It stays with you."

Touko's mother didn't know what to say to that. She knew Touko's ventures would be discredited if she did not proceed without PoKémon completely.

"Well, when… When do you plan to leave?"

Touko had grown tired of talking with her mother. This had been the longest dialogue between them in years, it seemed.

"Tomorrow. I don't want to bump into Cheren or Bianca. They will try to follow me."

"They care about you, Touko. They'll just want to know you're safe."

Touko's infallible logic kicked in. "Yes. And that is counterproductive to my cause to travel _alone_." She was turning to go back upstairs, perhaps to plan for tomorrow's beginnings. Her mother, now concerned for the safety of her daughter, sat silently and churned over their words.

Touko went upstairs, not thinking about the Snivy, her mother, or her friends. She didn't do much thinking about others anyway. No need to become sentimental right when it would become a hassle.

Her mother heard the door shut. Her concerns brewed like an upcoming storm. This was her Touko. This was her Touko about to face the world with nothing to help her. No guide, no friend, no protector. It's a venture very few people make… and certainly not when they were just becoming independent. She needed advice. Slipping on her shoes, Touko's mother headed for Cheren's house.


	3. Regret

Regret

Cheren's mother, Aria, was watching television when she heard the knock. Snapped from a daze, the woman rose to open the door.

"Cathy?"

Touko's mother stared at her with troubled eyes.

"Oh, Cath, you know they'll be fine. Those PoKémon won't let anything happen."

"Touko didn't go."

"Touko just- wait… Why?"

Aria ushered Catherine inside, and gestured for her to sit down. Catherine drew a small breath, sighed, and recounted the day's events. The helplessness overflowed in her aching voice, but she retained enough control to keep from tearing up.

"Touko's just a different girl, Cath." Aria began. "She's as different from you as the moon from the sun, and it's no fault of yours."

"But it must be, at least partially. She grew up without a father, she became reclusive after all he had … been involved with. She never trusted anyone again."

"That's normal, Cath. It's just a coping mechanism. She doesn't want to be hurt again, so she won't invest any time or emotion into anyone until she's, well, certain… certain that the object of her affections won't disappear, or disappoint her. Cheren's very similar, as you know."

There was a pause. Catherine released the grip on the fabric of Aria's sofa, which she had been subconsciously assaulting.

"They're good friends." Catherine smiled. "Sometimes it's my only reminder that Touko will be okay one day."

Aria chuckled, "Well, count your blessings. Touko is much less likely to get into trouble. She's got everything planned out eight steps ahead all the time. She's been like that since I can remember. Cheren…" she smiled fondly at her son's name, "well, he learns from Touko. It seems to me that he regards her as a paragon of strength. I remember that stage that he had to copy everything Touko did or said back when they were little, don't you?"

Catherine's eyes lit up as she recalled a young Cheren timidly asking her what Touko likes most to eat, for he would like to try it too. "He was so cute."

Aria nodded. "Your Touko has always been the leader of their little group. She's really a tough cookie." Aria pushed back her toffee colored bangs, relishing the opportunity to remember the past with her long-time friend. She waited for a while, until Catherine's smile started receding, before cautiously asking, "Touko… was she… always so guarded?"

Catherine noticeably shrunk into the sofa. Her eyelids drooped slightly as she tried to recall the few memories of her bubbly little girl. "No, of course not. Up until she was about four, she was pretty normal socially. I mean, she has always had a tendency for logic over emotion. A trait of her father's, I'm sure… She would love to hear stories about PoKémon. I asked her once, how many she would like, just to hear her cute response. I thought, you know, she'd be like any other kid and say 'All of them, Mama!', but… even then… she said she only wanted one…"

A sweet little Touko sat on her small bed as her mother brought in a sandwich for lunch. She wanted to watch her favorite cartoons that day, so Catherine had let her eat in her room. Touko's already contented expression exploded with joy at the sight of her favorite food – a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with small gummies on the side.

"What are you watching, Touko?" Her mother asked as she handed the little girl her plate.

"A show 'bout Pok-mon." Her gappy smile turned back to the television, while she proudly pointed to and identified the three creatures on the screen.

"An' this guy has all of 'em from a different r…regeeon."

"Region, sweetie. And is that so? Well, how many would you like when you're a big trainer?"

Touko blinked her brilliant blue eyes, pure from any imperfections. "Jus' one." She was adorably serious, eyebrows arched downward just slightly to display deep thought.

"Why just one, Touko? There's so many out there…"her mother's curious, yet gentle prodding brought a slight shrug from her daughter, who insightfully replied, "I want it to be my friend. An' if I have too many, I won't be as close to him. So I only want one."

Impressed by her little one's insight, her mother lovingly rubbed the top of her head as she walked out the door.

Catherine mused that she shouldn't have been so let down at her daughter's choice. She should have seen it coming for years.

Aria seemed lost in her own thoughts. Neither spoke as they considered the kind of girl Touko might have been if circumstances had been different.

"And then, of course… As you know Theo brought that one home for her. It had all gone downhill from there."

Catherine shuddered to say her late husband's name. Her chills were not calmed by remembering the eerie little creature she had seen Touko holding when she had come home from work.

Touko, dressed in a pair of jeans and tee shirt with a PoKéball, ran to greet her mother and share the big news of the day. "Dad got me a PoK-mon!" In her little hands, a Litwick chirped happily. It unnerved Catherine, but she uneasily congratulated her daughter anyway, and sent her off so she could speak with Theo. The gaze of its unblinking, glowing eye lingered in her brain as she closed her bedroom door.

"I thought we were going to make this decision together," she sulkily addressed him. The man had just come home from three days at the lab. He only moved his eyes to acknowledge her, but otherwise remained still in their bed.

"She liked it, what's the problem?"

Catherine sat next to him, silently noticing his eyes drooping from lack of sleep. "What type of PoKémon is it, and where did you get it?"

"It's a Litwick. Just picked it u—er, it just sorta followed me home."

Catherine's eyes narrowed. "Couldn't you have gotten her something more… child friendly? It freaks me out. What is it, a ghost type?"

Theo barely pushed out a groan of affirmation. After brief silence, he managed to reply, "She's my daughter. She'll love the less common PoKémon out there. They're always more interesting."

Catherine knew vaguely of what Theo did at the lab. He worked in slightly altering the genes of existing PoKémon to make them less aggressive towards humans, healthier, and stronger. He had always claimed that with his research, "a mere Lillipup would outlive and outperform a vigorously trained Beartic." Catherine believed this to just be his exaggerated musings that kept him interested in his work.

Aria focused on Catherine patiently. "That… was the one from his lab, wasn't it?"

Unnoticed tears had already started dripping down her cheeks. "Yes…" Catherine bit down on her tongue for a moment. "He had genetically altered the first PoKémon he gave our daughter. And I, I wouldn't have nightmares that he could be so reckless! AND! He, of ALL people! He _knew_ the nature of that species of PoKémon! He knew and he still endangered Touko."


End file.
